A little (big) moment in July

The person on the photo is not me, it is a feeling.

In the many years of my life in which I have been surrounded by people, communicating with them and feeling different interactions, getting involved in friendships and ending friendships, I have learned a lot, especially through differences and negative feelings. But I am increasingly aware that I have also been influenced by the positive things that people have given me over the years without really appreciating them. I don't want to name any specific people here, I just want to say for myself - in the hope that others of my age or their age might feel the same - that I don't want to forget, in all the conflicts I can have, that there is a greater unity that holds us together. Even when I want to isolate myself, I can be in good hands with other people. Some friends inspire me, motivate me to do new things, encourage me with praise and criticism - I know that this is something that has to be learned - so that today I can come to the conclusion that I know that I love being alone and I need it, but I can also enjoy being with others and get involved with them.In my opinion, what is needed is the right attitude, a certain openness (I have such an openness, which is sometimes even criticized by other people -), but also tolerance. Respect and tolerance should be at the beginning of every friendship or contact anyway. For me, this means that I want to focus more on observing and listening and less on judging and criticizing or withdrawing and isolating myself. I would rather grasp what is there than look for what is not there.

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There are pearls in many people just waiting to be discovered and brought to light. And some people have a radiant exterior, but hide so much darkness inside that this darkness is often too much for one person and spreads to others...sooner or later to everyone they meet. Sometimes it is even people who seem happy and friendly at first. They have learned to draw the curtain over their inner life. But more and more it flashes through, and after they have been with you, you feel bad for some unknown reason. I think the important thing is not how I find another person, but how I feel with him.If you persistently feel bad or even depressed, it could be due to an unhealthy interaction with the other person. And I don't rule out the possibility that other people feel the same way about me.But where do you find the light in those moments? Sometimes I don't know myself. It might be a good idea to go back to your own world or go out into the sun and create some space for yourself so that you can then give light and strength to the other person, or turn away if the person shows no interest and continues to hurt you, consciously or unconsciously, with sometimes supposedly funny remarks or whatever else they say to bring you down. I have even experienced someone who tried to do everything especially well and right, and in doing so, dragged me down deeper and deeper, so that I always felt bad after the meetings. I suspect that this was/is an indicator that this person is actually depressed and does not know it or does not want to admit it. That they may see feelings in others and even feel sympathy, but have never thought to take care of their own soul. Because when others turn away, it can mean that there is something wrong with you (and that you may not be authentic).

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Bente Amlandt 12.07.2024

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